To carry the relational term of “engaged” in our society can be intoxicating, thrilling, and not always laced with adequate reflection for marriage’s design. In fact, politically and emotionally, this design is up for fervent discussion in my area of the country with the incoming vote on Amendment One in North Carolina. (More on that in a different post, later.) The registries and theatrical designs are enjoyable, but the upcoming covenant can’t be swallowed up by this one-day immaculate, communal affair. The God-man named Jesus Christ that I attempt to worship is planning something beautiful yet durable. When Travis gets tired of food stains on our books, or stony silence when I’m angry, or my need to be liked by everyone and thus seem fake, I can’t rely on how great my curves looked in that get-away dress. When I am fatigued by unwashed dishes, or stubbornness instead of compromise, or an American male chauvinism instead of biblical male leadership, his hugs and affection won’t work. As Tim Keller ruminates, deep character building and deep friendship must meet.

I’ve never dug deeper into this tattered soil, the incomplete and rocky dirt of an immature, growing soul. Things are illuminated under the magnifying glass of preparing to live life with one other imperfect person. It’s extraordinary knowing that nesting, offering a beautiful home space, and constructing literary intelligence for the benefit of others, will be shared with someone I admire and trust. It’s scary understanding that we will live together in arrogance and folly for the rest of our days. The breaking of our egos outshines the scariness.

Married couples, please grace this post with your advice…


About violetprose

Writing pulls me out of myself and into a world of color. It soothes, encourages, and inspires, among other treasures. I use it to love, work, and play. I pray it breathes life and shares hope.
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2 Responses to Engagement

  1. MotherGibson says:

    You are on the right track if you are placing your marriage in the hands of Jesus. 🙂 You don’t get married for yourselves, you don’t stay married for yourselves. You get married and stay married because God called you to be. 🙂 He is the only one who can sustain it. ❤

  2. Kasie Morgan says:

    I would say that in the midst of all the thoughts, happiness, and scared moments there is a way to love an imperfect person perfectly. Achieve this by neglecting to focus on his imperfections but rather wallow in the good parts and down right fun parts of the person themselves. Marriage is scary and it’s not always pleasant but you end up feeling that you would rather have those types of days with the person who lifts you up and knows you best then be alone to face the world.

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